As the title of this blog clearly states my thoughts will not be clearly stated. Here we go...
I am doing well right now. I feel like God is sustaining me in all I do. I am starting a recovery ministry here in Hamburg and it has kept me quite busy meeting with people and doing the leg work to get it started. I have also been working very long and extra hours with my job. I am enjoying Germany and I feel like God has put me here, right now, for a purpose. I know I don't want to stay here long term--I will come back next May, but I am here for this short period of time for a reason. I feel it. God is moving in Hamburg. My heart is burdened for this city even though it isn't where I want to be in the long run. It's beautiful, but in the end it is just a city. But a city full of hurting people who are lost and dying physically and spiritually.
As I previously mentioned I am starting a recovery program here. That has been wonderful so far. It hasn't started, but I have been meeting with people and a step study will begin in July, so just around the corner. Some of the church leadership weren't quite sure how people would react to such a program/study, but I have had quite a large response from people so far. We will see how many actually come and stick it out. I am not worried, God will bring who He wants; I am just genuinely curious. Please pray for wisdom and guidance in how to lead this thing and pray for protection from the enemy who desires to keep the people here in captivity and bondage to their sin.
I am a bit homesick right now. It is hard to think about all my friends going off around the world on all their mission trips. I so badly want to be their to hug you and say goodbye and to welcome you home with a big hug and tears... I dislike the fact that my youngest nephew turns one in two weeks and I won't be there. He will actually be almost two years old before I come home. That hits hard--missing almost two years of his life. I know that I will have plenty of time to spend with him later, but I really want to be there to watch him grow up. I missed the earliest years with my oldest two nephews, but was able to with my 4 year old nephew... I miss all my friends at church. I want to be there in the everyday to stand beside and hear the stories, to rally them on, to be a part of their lives so intimately as we once were. I miss you all so very much and I think about you often.
I feel like I have clearer instructions on what I want to do when I get home to the states. I am trying not to dwell on them too much or it makes homesickness worse, but it has been fun dreaming of the possibilities when I get home. Only God knows what the next year will look like. I feel like being here has been a good training experience in every aspect of that word. Training spiritually, educationally, and vocationally. This journey has been a long spiritually refining one. God has been leading me into deeper waters way beyond myself of anything I could imagine. Everything I have been taught and learned has been put to the test and I have been standing in faith on it. It has been amazing to see! Educationally with learning the language has been great! I feel like when I go home I will focus more on linguistics. No idea what that will do, but I feel like it will open doors for better jobs in knowing more languages. Vocationally, I feel like this has helped so many ways in being able to write I taught/tutored English as a second language for almost a year and a half. Also being an au pair in another country, I feel like looks good on a resume and maybe with a combination of the language skills, maybe I can teach before I finish my undergrad. We will see, these are just some thoughts....
I don't have much more to write, well I do, but I don't know how to reign it in or what the point would be. So I will leave it at this. I am doing well, I love and miss you guys, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
Caroline
