Today's Revelation

I was reading and praying today and this is what I journaled.

"I think I finally understand what it means when in the scriptures people began to praise God for being persecuted and were thankful for it. I believe it means they were thankful that Christ was so evident in their life and actions and that is why people hated them. They were thankful also that Christ was glorified through them.

It makes sense. If you don't have Christ, your heart is hard and cold. Those who are following Christ give out warmth with their kindness. Those who are bent on hating God or determined to do life on their own terms feel that pull of kindness begin to melt their heart, but it is felt as an affliction and threat. It goes against their self-seeking self-preservation.

Therefore a natural response is to bite the head off of the person who is kind and invites them into God's rest through their kindness.

So rejoice! God is working in and through you. It is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. Persevere and do not repay evil with evil. Pour heaping coals of kindness on their heads.

Lord give me strength. Comfort me. Guide me.
Make a way that you want me to go.
I am done doing it my way.
Over and over I surrender my way to you.
I want yours."

I keep reminding myself that I am here to serve and love people. Just as Christ, King of EVERYTHING, humbled himself and became human and laid down His life willingly. He came to serve others--not to be served.

I also keep remembering Hebrews 12 where it talks about for the joy set before Him, Christ endured the Cross, scorning its shame.

I just so happened in my reading yesterday in Matthew to end up on the Lord's supper, Christ's cruxifiction and resurrection. As I read about Jesus's betrayal, the words stuck out to me where Jesus said it had to be this way fulfilling the scriptures. Something in it made my heart sad in His betrayal, in that God chose it this way.

That is amazing to me.

We all have experienced some sort of betrayal, but for those who it has peirced so deeply the heart, there is something that screams out from within "Why would you choose this!! How horrible!" But Christ was so in love with the Father and trusted Him more than his feelings, desire, and comfort that He chose God's way. This amazes me.

I find that being here my thinking is on over-drive and I am left often to my thoughts. Many things I have finally begun to understand. Like a veil has been pulled of my eyes.

This is what God is doing in my life. Stripping everything away. Making me dependent on Him.

It is glorious and utterly frightening all at once.